CONFESSION TIME: What I hate about my voice
May 15, 2019
Is there anything about yourself that makes you feel insecure and which ends up preventing you from doing things that you want to do or that you have to do? Many times, by focusing on what we consider a flaw about our appearance or a certain aspect of our personality we end up losing personal power and self confidence. In my case, what bothers me is my accent.
I was raised bilingual. My family is British and I was born in Argentina, where I spent my childhood and teenage years speaking Spanish. Later on, I moved to Brasil where I spent many years speaking Portuguese before moving to the United States. When I talk, I end up messing up words and, no matter what language I’m speaking in, it seems like I can’t get it perfectly, without an accent. While doing videos, this is my number one worry. It really bothers me and stresses me out. This is the reason why many times I don’t post or shoot content and this is the number one thing I usually criticize about myself.
In this video, I’m facing a hard confession and I want to share with you my struggle. Shooting this wasn’t easy…
Is there anything that makes you self-conscious or a flaw that bothers you, even when other people don’t seem to care? Let me know in the comments!
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- The message we want to get across is far more important than any flaws our voices might have. People will focus more on what you are saying than the way you are saying it.
- Maybe what makes you feel insecure about your voice is what makes your voice special.
- Our minds tend to makes us believe people are judging us far more than they in fact are.
- Your voice is probably not as bad as you think.
Hi, I am Lorna. And today I want to talk to you about what to do when there's something that you're not confident about when it comes to your voice. And when this number one thing is holding you back.
My name is Lorna Earnshaw, I am a voice coach, singer, songwriter. I've already helped more than 60,000 people to speak and sing better through the internet and more than 350 students in my private sessions for the past 15 years. I am also the number one bestseller author of the book "Speak Out!".
And today I want to share with you something that is really personal. And I think that you will understand what I mean by this. And you will notice. Or probably you've noticed that already. What is the number one thing about my voice that doesn't make me comfortable. And it is my accent.
Actually I am British. My family's British. I was raised in Argentina then I moved to Brazil. And now I am in the United States. That's the reason why my voice has this very peculiar accent, right? It's a mix because I work actually in three languages.
And many times, being honest, I've stopped myself from creating content for you. I've stopped myself of putting myself out there because I feel that my voice is not perfect. And because I'm a voice expert, I have all these expectations and I want to be the best possible way when I'm presenting my voice to you.
However in all these years I've been helping people to use their voices in three languages. However I have students who are American. I have students from Latin America, Spain, Brazil, Argentina. And all these people need me. And then I stopped to think: okay maybe I should put more stuff out there for people to listen to my message. Not only writing. Not only being behind the camera.
And maybe you feel like that too. Maybe you have an accent. Maybe there's something about your voice that you are not comfortable enough. So what do we have to do when this happens?
First of all: we need to understand that when we're speaking, ultimately the most important thing is what are we getting as value for people. What are the things that we have to give. What is the information that you are able to share with those people that are waiting for your information. So first of all be aware of the value that you have to offer. That is the number one thing and this is number one thing that people will make a judgement on the value and not so much on the way that you're speaking.
Second: that number one thing that you don't like about your voice, maybe that's the thing that makes you special. For example: my accent. I speak in three languages. I can work with people from different languages. And the thing is that you might be in a situation right now in which you have to give a presentation in a second language and that is a challenge, okay. If they hired you to speak in a second language, this is probably because you are a very capable person and they need your information.
So speaking in a second language or having to do something that is making you move over and get out of your comfort zone. For sure it's more important and it's necessary when you have to deliver good value. Understand that there is something special about your voice.
Number three: the one thing that I wanted to tell you is that the judgment that you are making about yourself, it's probably harder and tougher than how people are looking at you. Many times when we overthink, when we are trying to do our bests, we notice all these little details. And most of the times, people are not really paying so much attention to those details.
Number four is: your recorded voice, it sounds very different from the voice that you hear inside your head. So the first time that you are listening to your voice, if you start being too critical about what you're hearing. Maybe you feel it is so nasal. Maybe you feel that it sounds like a kid. Maybe there's something that you don't like about it. Trust me. It has to do also with a surprise, because this is the first time that you are listening to your voice. You probably have a voice that is not as bad as you think. And people are waiting to hear you speak or sing, because they will feel something when you're talking to them.
So these are my best tips on this subject. I'm still working on it and I am committed to put myself out there. Even though there are things that I know that I still have to work on. Even though there are things that I still am not confident about. So if you share what I'm feeling, just let me know. Just put some comments here in the comment section below. Write me an email. Comment on social media. Share. Like. And all that good stuff. So I will see you in the next video. Bye bye.