How to deal with Self Criticism

 

In this video, I will share with you some of my insights and strategies on how to evaluate your performance in a more productive way that is healthier and self-loving than self-criticism. I'm not saying that you should live in a state of denial of the challenges you still need to overcome in your voice. Identifying areas that still have room for improvement is not the same as self-criticism. 

I'm not going to say that I've overcome self-criticism 100% ... I'm still working on it lol.

However, nowadays, I became way happier and more free, just like the students that have worked with my in my online courses and live sessions for the past 15 years.

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CONTINUE READING ABOUT 'HOW TO DEAL WITH SELF-CRITICISM":

Check out this very interesting article with actual tools and strategies for you to calm down the negative self-talk that might be holding you back: 

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 Summary

  • Perfectionism won't take you far if it keeps you from trying. Nobody is perfect, and you will always have things to improve on yourself.
  • Your voice is constantly changing. You can work on your voice with exercises to change the aspects of it that you don't like. 
  • Your voice is not you. Your voice is a wonderful tool, but does not define who you are. 
  • Before becoming good at anything, you have to suck. Skills can be developed through hard work. But at the beginning, when we are still learning, we will have to suck. 

 

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Inspirational Quotes

Full Transcript

Hi, I'm Lorna and today I want to talk to you about self-criticism when it comes to your speaking or your singing.

My name is Lorna Earnshaw and I am a voice coach and I've already helped more than 60,000 people to sing and to speak better through the internet and more than 350 students in my private sessions for the past 15 years. Also, I am the author of the number one bestseller "Speak Out!".

And today I want to share with you my best tip so that you can put your voice out there so that you can sing or that you can speak better every day.

And today I want to talk to you about this self-criticism. And I know about this because you and me, we're both people who are always trying to make our best. And if you're watching this video, it's because you are always trying to improve your performance, right?

So it's very easy after listening to our voices, you know a recording or maybe on a video, it's very easy to start criticizing ourselves.

First of all: I want to tell you that perfectionism won't help you roll. We have this fantasy that says: "oh I don't like this, I think there's something better that I could do" and maybe we stop, because we think that we need to be ready and to be perfect to put ourselves out there. My experience as a teacher, as a singer and some as writer tells the opposite. All the people who are waiting to get really good to put themselves out there, they're missing on opportunities, and this is a fact. And the only way that you're gonna get better is by practicing and putting yourself out there.

So the thing is nobody is perfect. And the thing is that you will always have things to improve. And if you wait until you're perfect you will never do anything because that is not possible. At least as human beings we will never be perfect. So if you're waiting to be perfect to put yourself out there, and if you're still picking on these little details that you don't like about your voice, and this is the reason why you're not creating products, why you're not creating speaking opportunities or singing more, stop! You need to put yourself out there and stop being a perfectionist.

Second: you can change your voice through exercises. So it is super important that you understand that your voice is not you. Your voice is not something that you were born with and that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life just the way it was given to you. Your voice is something that has changed with the years, and this is something that will continue to change according to the things that you're going through in your life, according to the way that you're speaking, according to the practices that you implement.

We tend to judge ourselves and our voices, because we treat our voices as something that is static and that is eternal, it is not. Your voice can change, yes! So this is why you shouldn't be so critical of your voice.

Number three: see your voice as an object that is separate from you. We tend to identify our voices with ourselves or with our self image. And there is an exercise that I've been working on with my students for many, many years, which is consistently recording ourselves. If you start recording yourself, and looking at yourself, and analyzing whatever you see and you hear about you and your voice, you will be able to feel separate from the result that is shown in the recording. The result in the recording, the voice that is coming out, it's not you.

You're far bigger than your voice. Your voice is a tool, is a wonderful tool, but it's not you. It's something that we can work on. And there might be things that you like about your voice. There might be things that you don't like about your voice, but that doesn't define you.

And the last one is: before being really good at anything, it could be speaking or singing, you have to suck, okay? There's no shortcut for that. You will have to suck, because you need to start practicing something new and you're not used to it. You don't know how to do it correctly. There are so many things that you have to improve. And the only way for you to get into that progress, and to be better at it, is if you swallow your pride and you understand that you will suck.

I know many people that are really good at different skills. They are very good professionals and they are afraid to try new things, because they don't want to suck. Okay, that's fine if you want to. You can avoid that pain. Maybe you can avoid the pain of not being really good at it or exposing yourself in front of your friends, in front of your colleagues, in front of your teachers. However you're gonna pay a price for that. And now I want you to think if you're willing to suck before getting really good at it. If you're willing to suck and you have the right guidance, I can assure you, I promise, you will make a huge improvement when it comes to your voice.

So I hope that these tips have helped you. If you have any questions, please let me know in the comment section below. You can share, you can like, you can write more questions for me, suggest more topics that you would like to talk about. I'm here for you to help you free your voice.

Thank you so much and I'll see you in the next video.

 

HOT NEWS AND DEALS:

-SING IT OUT 5-WEEK ONLINE COURSE. 5-weeks to overcome your limiting beliefs about your singing, to learn the fundamentals of vocal technique and to practice powerful and exclusive vocal exercises that will free your voice  CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS

- VOCAL GYM MEMBERSHIP: Join our Gym to work out your vocals and your self-confidence. Vocal technique routines and sessions for you to practice live, learn new techniques and keep your voice in the best shape. CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS.

 
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